DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
A hydra is a snake right? So basically Nick fury is trying to get hydra off the helicarrier right? Does that mean he’s trying to get those motherfucking snakes off his motherfucking plane?
#I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE#THAT IT HAS BEEN NEARLY TWO MONTHS#AND THIS IS THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I’VE SEEN ANYONE MAKE THIS JOKE#FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN TWO MONTHS AND *I* DIDN’T MAKE THIS JOKE#I’M DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF US#cap 2 (x)
a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?
omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that
2014 so far
January: Selfie Olympics
February: Flappy Bird
lets see how the rest of the year goes
March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio
April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone
Wonder how July is gonna be
i will keep reblogging this each month
i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce